The Healing Process

A Call to Live / Torah Guidance on Healing 

~Avraham ben Yaakov 

Healing takes time. It takes time for tissues to mend, for organs to return to healthy functioning and for general physical balance to be restored. The same applies to healing the inner you, which is the very essence of the healing process. New growth, greater strength and joy will come to you over time. The healing process will be far easier if you recognize from the outset that you are likely to experience many ups and downs physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You may start feeling better and more yourself, only to experience a setback that may seem to put you back where you were before. You may go through repeated ups and downs even in the course of a single day.
Don't let reverses and obstacles throw you into despair. It is through repeated cycles of retraction and expansion that the body realigns and heals. So too on the level of self and soul, growth and development often involve repeated bouts of mental, emotional and spiritual constriction or upset. This is the way your soul marshals the inner resources you need to advance. Sinking low may indeed be a sign that you are in the process of moving to a new, higher level in your life.

When you are prepared for hard times, it makes them easier to bear. The wise King Solomon is said to have had a ring inscribed with the words, "This too will pass." He wanted to remind himself constantly that the pain, hardship and suffering of this world are only temporary. Your ability to remain patient in the face of difficulties will help you greatly during the healing process.

Two basic living skills

Two basic skills are vital in order to cope with the ups and downs of healing. The first is the skill of handling yourself well when you go up, when things are good and you feel strong and confident. It can then be very tempting to overdo things, as if you want to convince yourself that you are perfectly fit when in fact you need to take things gently. The skill of the up-phase is to enjoy it and take advantage of it, while at the same time being careful not to do anything that could impair your healing. The second skill is knowing how to hold yourself even when you go down. You may have moments of extreme frustration and demoralization owing to your physical condition or other problems. Even if you are discouraged and depressed, don't let yourself sink into despair. Try to identify what is making you depressed. Is there any practical action you could take to help change things for the better? Even if you feel quite helpless, you still must find a way to take a more positive view of things. Have faith that God is the ultimate cause of everything you are going through, and God does only good.

Searching for the good at all times is the way to keep happy, and this is the key to true healing. The joyous song of the soul brings health and vitality to the body (see Chapter 2). Melodies and songs are made by going up and down -- quite literally! The musician goes up and down on the musical scale in order to build the melody line. Whether he goes up or down, the art of making music is always to go for the good notes.
Play your life as a melody! Whether you go up or down, go for the good notes! Search out the good everywhere. Even in the darkest places, even at the hardest moments, have faith that God's goodness is everywhere and in everything.

Sometimes the way to break out of depression and negativity is by acting a little silly or singing out loud, and so on. If you find it hard to lift yourself out of depression, what about trying to cheer up somebody else -- with a smile or a kind word or gesture?
Even when you are not in a position to help others directly, keep a charity box close by and donate even a small coin or two whenever you feel low! The concern you show for others by performing an act of charity opens a channel through which God's good- ness and kindness shine into your soul.

At times, God's goodness may be totally hidden from you. When things are very dark, cry out and scream to God: "Where are You? Have mercy! Help me!" If all your prayers and cries and other efforts seem to be accomplishing nothing, you have no option but to heave a deep sigh and wait for things to change.

In the words of Rebbe Nachman: "Sometimes you may be disturbed by all kinds of negative thoughts and feelings. It seems impossible to overcome them. You must then make yourself like nothing. Don't even try to speak. Close your mouth. Close your eyes. Don't try to think. Your mind ceases to exist. You have totally effaced yourself. Now there is only God."

Care of Your Body

A Call to Live / Torah Guidance on Healing 

~Avraham ben Yaakov

You can't leave all the work of healing your body to your doctors. Most medical treatment focusses on correcting what's wrong with the body. But don't forget what's right with your body! How you eat and take care of yourself in other simple ways can have a vital influence on your general physical functioning. The stronger your system as a whole, the easier it will be for the sick parts to heal. Ideally, healing should start long before the body gets sick! It's harder to restore health to a body that has been allowed to deteriorate than to maintain good health when the body is essentially sound. Sometimes it takes a bout of illness or injury to make people realize the importance of taking good care of themselves. Even so, it's never too late to start taking proper care. Make up your mind to live wisely and sensibly from now on! Guarding health is taught in the Bible: "Take care of yourself, and guard your soul diligently" (Deuteronomy 4:9). Physical and spiritual healthcare contribute to each other. Good physical health promotes mental and spiritual wellbeing. Conversely, spiritual wellbeing and a strong sense of mission in life make it easier to maintain the self-discipline required to keep healthy physically. Often you have to sacrifice immediate physical gratification for the sake of long-term benefits. You have to learn to say no to your favorite bad foods or other things that are no good for you, even when they're right in front of you. You must maintain your fitness routine even when you don't feel like it. Focus your mind on why you want to heal and keep healthy -- in order to live your life to the full. The stronger your sense of mission and commitment to your goals, the more incentive you will have to maintain your healthcare program.

Wonders of the body 

We are usually so busy going about our lives that we tend to take our physical functioning for granted. What is more wonderful than the functioning of the body -- growth, renewal, self-repair, respiration, circulation, digestion, excretion of wastes, vision, hearing, smell, taste, touch, movement, coordination, etc. etc. -- every second, every minute, every day for seventy, eighty, a hundred years and more! Take a few moments to reflect on the complexity and subtlety of your body. The Jewish practice is to offer a blessing of thanks over the wonders of the body after relieving oneself: "Blessed are You, Eternal, All-Powerful God, Ruler of the universe, Who designed man with wisdom and created within him many openings and many cavities. It is revealed and known before Your Seat of Glory that if one of them is ruptured or one of them blocked, it is impossible to survive and stand before You even for a brief moment. Blessed are You, God, Who heals all flesh and acts wondrously."

Hisbodedus: Time for Yourself

A Call to Live / Torah Guidance on Healing

~Avraham ben Yaakov

The literal meaning of the Hebrew word hisbodedus is "making oneself alone." The aim is not to become a hermit. In essence, hisbodedus is private time that you put aside for yourself on a regular basis. You detach yourself from your normal routine for a while in order to explore and develop yourself through meditation, introspection, self-expression, talking, praying, singing and any other method that helps you.

Hisbodedus is alluded to in various places in the Bible. In different forms it was taught by many Jewish spiritual teachers through the ages. It was given special emphasis by Rebbe Nachman of Breslov. Some of the main techniques that may be used in hisbodedus are discussed in more detail below.

The mark of a successful hisbodedus session is that you should feel good at the end of it. At the very least, you should feel better than before! Sometimes this is achieved through relaxation, breathing, settling the mind, etc. At other times more active methods may be employed, as described later.

The hisbodedus session itself may not necessarily be calm throughout. In one and the same session you may go through a whole gamut of different experiences, from heightened consciousness, insight, joy, gratitude, peace of mind and divine connection to frustration, inner pain, grief, tears and many more. Be willing to face negative aspects of yourself and your life honestly and with the confidence that God can help you discover the good concealed within negativity and darkness. Searching for this goodness will bring you to greater harmony and joy.

Aim to set aside time for yourself every day. This could be anywhere from about ten minutes to as much as an hour, according to your needs. Surely you deserve it!

When and where Choose a time when you are not likely to be disturbed. Many people prefer to practice hisbodedus early in the morning before the pressures of the day build up. Some take a break for hisbodedus between activities. Others practice hisbodedus at the end of the day, finding that it helps them unwind. For best results, choose a time when you have not just eaten a large meal as this may interfere with your mental clarity. If you are unable to sleep at night, you might try some hisbodedus then.

If possible, find a place where you can have some privacy. If you are confined to bed, you can practice hisbodedus right there. If you are up and about, choose a quiet corner whether at home or elsewhere. Natural surroundings can be especially conducive to calm and spirituality. If you have access to a suitable natural spot, or even your own back yard, take full advantage of it!

Before you begin a session of hisbodedus, it is a good idea to decide in advance how long you want the session to last, e.g. fifteen minutes, half an hour, etc. Have a clock or timer handy. Make yourself as comfortable as possible. There is no required posture for hisbodedus. Choose a posture that you find conducive to relaxation and clarity. Many people find it best to practice hisbodedus sitting in a comfortable chair with the back well supported. If you wish, you may stand or walk about. Lying down is acceptable, especially if you are tired or not feeling well. However, at other times lying down is not recommended as it may make you drowsy.

Now you are ready to begin.

The Three Points of Empowerment

A Call to Live / Torah Guidance on Healing

~Avraham ben Yaakov

Medical treatment is the more passive part of the healing process. In many cases the patient is asked to do little more than submit to the treatment and wait for it to take effect. But the most important part of your total healing -- healing and vitalizing the inner you -- obviously cannot come about through remaining passive. You must take the initiative. You have to act.

There is widespread agreement today that changes in diet, lifestyle, attitudes and other areas may play a major role in recovery and long-term health. But many people find it hard to make even relatively small changes in their lives. One of the main reasons is often because inside they feel hurt, tired, cynical and despondent. Why make the effort to change if you don't believe it will make you genuinely happier?

Too often people just give up on themselves. They feel helplessly locked into negative attitudes and behavior patterns. Aren't we all too familiar with the repeated vicious cycles that consume our lives? We may not want to so much as glance at our inner mirror. It's easier to reach for that snack, open a magazine, pick up the phone, pour a drink, light a cigarette, throw ourselves into our work or other activities, or just go to sleep... anything rather than face the deeper issues in our lives.

But these unresolved issues and the accompanying inner pain can be major factors underlying poor health and illness. To allow yourself to remain locked in the same old patterns could be a recipe for disaster. If you want real recovery and a life worth living, you must find ways to make the necessary changes in your life and in your inner self.

Where in the world am I?

A Call to Live / Torah Guidance on Healing

~Avraham ben Yaakov

When you wake up from your sleep only to feel pain all over your body... when you look around you, and even familiar surroundings seem strange and alien... and you rub your eyes and you ask yourself, "Where in the world am I?" this may seem like a question born of confusion and chaos. But in truth, asking this and other searching questions about the new reality you face in your life is a sign of an awakening mind and spirit.
Serious illness or injury may bring a welter of different thoughts and feelings, some so private that we cannot begin to share them with the healthy, chirpy people around us going about their business in such blissful ignorance of our own pain, shock, grief and anxiety. We may be bitter and angry: "Why me?" Perhaps we feel betrayed by our bodies. We worry about the future: "Will I suffer pain? Will I be permanently disabled or disfigured? Am I going to die? What's it like in the grave?"

It is right and natural to be seriously concerned about what is happening to you. But don't let anxiety push you into despair. Admitting physical vulnerability does not mean you will necessarily remain permanently weak from now on. Confronting the fact of your mortality does not mean you are going to die soon.

Your worries and concerns are in fact a signal to you to embark on an extensive examination of yourself and your life. You must now act as doctor to your own inner self. Just as a medical doctor first carries out a thorough examination and then prescribes treatment, so you should now take an honest inventory of yourself and your life. Then you must start developing your own self-healing strategy. This is your part in the healing process.

Don't think only about your physical condition and how you are going to get well. Consider also all the other issues in your life, including any problems within yourself, in your work, your relationships or other areas. Be ready to face things you might normally prefer not to think about. Be willing to ask the deepest questions -- about your body and your soul, what this life is about, how you've been using your time, and how you'd like to use it in future. Where do you want to go? How are you going to get there?

Starting to work on yourself in this way is a major step forward on your self-healing journey. You'll come away with a new inner confidence founded upon greater wisdom and understanding. You'll be able to live your life more freely and joyously. And living is what healing is all about.

The Secret of Health and Healing

A Call to Live / Torah Guidance on Healing

~Avraham ben Yaakov

The key to health and healing is ultimately simple: keep happy! Simchah -- happiness and joy -- is the elixir of the soul. And the health of the soul is the key to the health of the body.

It can take time and effort to attain true joy and self-fulfilment. The way to start is by making yourself happy with little things. Pamper yourself with small pleasures and comforts, good food and the like. Spend time with people who make you feel good. Lift your spirits with stimulating conversation and interesting reading. Listen to your favorite music. Joke. Laugh. Enjoy yourself!

This may work for a while, but you probably wonder how you can possibly be really happy when you are ill, in pain, confined to surroundings not of your choosing and troubled by many other problems. Even so, you must make every effort to find ways to be happy, even in face of all this adversity. Do everything possible to lift your moods.

For when you are happy, your mind becomes settled. You can then see things more clearly, and you will begin to understand the positive aspects of your present situation and your life in general, and uncover the good that exists even in adversity. This is the way to genuine happiness and fulfilment, which are the key to health and healing.

A Call to Live

Torah Guidance on Healing

~Avraham ben Yaakov

Many people never really appreciate what a blessing health is until illness or injury suddenly changes the course of their lives.

If you are ill, in pain, frustrated, anxious and despondent, you may feel that you have reached a very low point in your life. But it need not be so -- if you are willing to hear the deeper message your illness or injury is sending you. It is a call to live! If your normal life has been disrupted, it is to teach you to be more fully aware of the preciousness of life, so that you will live your life with greater purpose each day and every moment up to the very last.

By heeding this call, you can transform what you are going through now into a profound learning experience that will open up new dimensions in your life and bring you to deeper fulfilment and happiness.

You surely want to heal in order to be able to achieve all your goals in life. Then don't wait until you are feeling better before you start living. There is no more effective way to encourage the healing process than by living your life to the full extent that you can now.

To be healed is to be able to live life to the full. Living well is a skill, which, like any other, can only be developed through practice. Practice now! Decide that you are going to live now! Making this decision is one of the most important steps you will take to recovery.

Living on a higher level

Physical and other limitations may make it difficult for you to continue with many of your usual activities at present. But don't grieve over what you can't do. Instead, think about all the things you can do to give meaning to your life at this time. Your physical limitations need not prevent you from living an active, fulfilling life on the mental and spiritual planes. These are precisely the levels within yourself that you should now seek to cultivate in order to be truly healed.

Be ready to explore new pathways of mind and soul. Learn how to relax and to meditate. Ponder the meaning of life in this universe. Reflect on your own destiny and purpose. Discover who you really are. Even if you are under stress owing to your physical condition, your medical treatment, emotional, financial or other pressures, be sure to avoid sinking into morbid anxiety and depression. Turn your pain and frustration into prayers. Try to see the positive side of what you are going through.

As you work on yourself, work also to enhance your relationships with others -- your dear ones, friends, and all the other people with whom you have contact. If you are experiencing pain and hardship, learn from them to empathize with other people who may also be suffering. Even as you seek to fulfil your personal needs and pursue your purpose in life, take account of the needs and sensitivities of others. Develop your ability to communicate and live cooperatively with those around you. Be willing to learn from everyone.